Lessons from the Book 📖 declutter your mind

Your thoughts 💭 have the power to determine your actions.

“To survive negative thoughts and continue living a satisfying life, you need to be able to recognize negative thoughts when they come. By identifying the negative thoughts and their root causes, you are one step away from being overwhelmed by them. You will also realize that you have a better grip on your mental health and general wellbeing when you know your stressors.

Thoughts are a natural part of life, they are your inner monologue, and they are there all the time, whether you’re conscious of them or not. Scott and Davenport suggest that you try to study your thoughts — their frequency, content, and other factors — you’ll then see how they add up to a constant stream of chatter.

The reason it is important for you to identify and find a way to control your thoughts is that they determine your actions. Negative thoughts can cause you to make a wrong decision or even miss out on life-changing opportunities. The constant chatter inside your head can distract you from the present. But it is impossible to stop yourself from thinking because thoughts have a function.”

The more you try to suppress your thoughts 💭, the more they fight to come to the surface 

“This summary will teach you how to declutter your mind and reframe your thoughts so you can become a better person. Keep reading to learn how to get rid of anxious thoughts and become a better version of yourself.”

Humans are hardwired towards negativity 

The human brain 🧠 has around 💯 billion neutrons and there are more within your spinal cord. It is the thought 🤔 the links between these neurons are called as synapses add up to 💯 trillion .

“For humans, it is far easier to be negative than it is to maintain a positive mindset. Davenport and Scott call this “the negativity bias.” We jump straight toward the negative, and we overlook the high likelihood that the situation is more positive than we think.”

“You might wonder how we can ensure that the brain stays focused on the positives rather than on all the negative aspects of a situation. The simple answer is “training.” It is possible to train your brain to be more positive, through an exercise called “reframing.” If you’re stuck in a negative mind-frame, you’re also stuck in a cycle of low mood and anxiety. The key to a happier life is therefore to declutter your mind, gain control, and reframe your thoughts towards the positive side.

There are many reasons for mental clutter, but our lifestyles play such a huge part. Stress is a massive part of daily life these days and we do not know how dangerous this is until we feel the effects. Take Dan Harris for instance. Harris is a journalist for ABC News, and author of a book called “10% Happier.” At a time, Harris had no idea he was suffering from severe stress, until it all got too much and he had a full panic attack, live on national TV.

We also have far too much choice these days, and this leads to a situation called “the paradox of choice”. Of course, having freedom and many choices is a wonderful thing, but too much can cause overthinking, which leads to anxiety. This even goes as far as going grocery shopping; how are you supposed to make a quick decision on the type of sugar to buy when there are six different types?”

When you learn to control your breathing you will be able to channel your energy positively

“One of the greatest tools you have at your disposal in terms of controlling thoughts and easing “in the moment” overthinking is your breath. We take around 20,000 breaths every single day but we don’t even notice, because our body does the work. The thing is, you can take control over your breathing and therefore control your thoughts. When you’re panicking and overthinking, your breaths are likely to be shallow, not making it all the way down to your diaphragm; you can control that breath, slow it down and make it deeper, and calm your thoughts.

Put simply, breathing plays a huge part in helping when you’re stressed, anxious, or on a treadmill of overthinking. The best ways to work with this include:

• Sit up straight and don’t slouch: By sitting up you will allow oxygen to get to where it needs to go, and you can help the process by mentally breathing into those particular areas

• Breathe through your nose and not your mouth: Your nose has a built-in defense system that filters out toxins and air which is too cold

• Use abdominal breathing, i.e. pushing your stomach out slowly when you’re inhaling, and letting it deflate back down when you exhale

• Know the difference between shallow breathing and diaphragmatic breathing: Shallow breathing ends right at the chest, whereas diaphragmatic breathing is far deeper and more beneficial

The next time you want to detach yourself from thoughts that are unhelpful or negative, turn your attention inwards and slow your breathing, making it deeper at the same time. You’ll soon notice you gain back control.

Another technique that most people take for granted is meditation. Meditation is not all about chanting and sitting in the lotus position if you don’t want it to be. Meditation can be as simple as being calm and turning your thoughts inwards for a short amount of time.”

“There are many different types of meditation, and it’s really a case of finding what works for you. The simplest way to start, however, is to sit somewhere quiet and comfortable and to focus only on your breathing. As distractions enter your brain, simply push them away. If you make it a part of your routine to practice this daily, you’ll notice the differences. A study by the University of Washington showed that meditation is extremely useful for increasing productivity and focus. Other studies have also shown that meditation is useful for reducing stress levels.

Did you know? A study from the University of Massachusetts Medical School showed that meditation can boost your overall brainpower in a number of ways.”

Reframing thoughts 💬 and your mind 

“The human brain is capable of critical and creative thinking, but uninvited thoughts do nothing but cause stress and clutter up the mind. This can easily be overcome by learning how to reframe your thoughts, but it certainly takes time and effort.”

“Reframing involves being aware of the thoughts you’re having and learning how to separate yourself from them. Giving thoughts a name helps; rather than thinking “I’m so busy, I’m never going to get everything finished”, turn it around to “I’m having the thought that I’m not going to get everything finished”.

Another option is to say “no” very loudly and to visualize a barrier between you and the thought, e.g. a large wall, or you could imagine placing it in a box and locking it closed. Other people find it useful to place a rubber band on their wrist, and whenever a negative thought appears, they simply snap the band.”

“Most people have a trigger. Finding out what your trigger towards negative thinking is is the best way to help yourself avoid it. Brainstorm and write down what your triggers really are. Distract your mind and keep yourself busy if all else fails!”

Your core values define you and are vital to goal 🥅 setting

“Identifying what is really important to you in your life will help you to gain control over your thoughts. Many people struggle with understanding how this works, but by knowing what your core values are, you can focus on the things that are truly important, and kick out the things which aren’t, the things which cause you stress. Your core values will also act as a yard measurement in life, and your choices and your overall decisions will be made against them. Put simply, knowing your core values help you to declutter your mind of the things that are needless and a waste of time.”

“Knowing your core values helps you to set goals in your life. Without goals, we drift from place to place, without really ever achieving anything, and without really knowing what true happiness feels like. Having goals doesn’t mean that you’re living in the future, because we all know that having our heads a few years in front of us is a fast track toward not being present in the here and now. Without goals and plans, life is going to happen anyway; the difference is, when you have plans you have a greater chance of getting to where you want to be. Of course, there is a difference between thinking about the future and making plans, and worrying about it needlessly.

Your goals have to be SMART:

• Specific: They shouldn’t be ambiguous or difficult to understand.

• Measurable: Your goals should be measurable by some standard of measurement.

• Attainable: The goals you set shouldn’t just be wishful thinking but achievable.

• Relevant: Your goals ought to be relevant to you or some other people. They shouldn’t just be there because you feel like setting a goal.

• Time-Bound: Once you set a goal, you should also attach a time limit. This will help you keep track of your goals and move on to other projects.”

With every goal you achieve, you will feel empowered and more confident, Especially when it comes to your work  😉.

Relationship problems are easier to 🔚 up miserable

“It is a common fact that relationship problems are one of the biggest reasons for unhappiness in our lives. It’s impossible to go through life and not experience problems in this area, but if you find that you’re constantly running into similar problems with the same person, it’s time to assess whether they deserve to remain in your life. Never feel guilty for extracting a person from your life if they cause you constant misery.

A study found that people who placed focus on relationships and connections within a social circle were far happier and healthier than those who focused more on achievements. These happier people possessed some traits of which include: 

• Putting the relationship first, or making it a priority

• Having open lines of communication

• Being able to deal with problems in a healthy way

• Trust and respect on both sides

• Shared hobbies and interests

• Intelligent and emotional intimacy

• Being able to accept and forgive

• Physicality and intimacy, in romantic relationships”

“One major thing that affects our relationships these days is that we are always on our mobile phones or laptops. We do not have time for our loved ones and this can result in problems. Learning how to really listen is something everyone needs to do. Empathic listening isn’t as hard as it sounds, but it will make a huge difference in your relationships. Try these steps:

• Allow the other person to take over the conversation and pay complete attention to them

• Don’t interrupt, even if you want to make a valid point

• At suitable times, ask questions that are open-ended and are designed to get them to talk and open up more

• Don’t come to conclusions without having heard everything

• Once they’ve finished talking, repeat back the main points of what you heard

To be more present and improve your relationships, you need to avoid comparing yourself to other people. This brings down your self-esteem and damages your outlook on life. Social media has made it all too easy to compare ourselves to others, but the reality of their lives is also often an illusion, too. Try and develop a “glass half full” attitude, and be grateful for what is inside the glass.”

Your past can have either a positive or a negative effect on your present 🎁 and your future 🤔.

“If you let them,relationships and events from the past can easily damage your present relationships. Words said in the past can stay with us for years, and when feelings are left unresolved, they can fester and cause huge, open wounds.”

“Resolve anything that you can, challenge your side of the story, and examine if anything could have been done differently, and what you can learn for the future. Finally, offer total forgiveness. This can simply be in your own mind, which allows you to gain closure and move on from the situation.

There will be times in life when you have to let go of certain people, simply because they are causing you more unhappiness than happiness. Of course, this can hurt, especially if there are strong feelings attached to that person, but if anyone abuses you, brings negativity, and is disloyal to you, you should let them go. If they are also unwilling to communicate and try to manipulate you, you should limit their access to you.

Sometimes, a relationship doesn’t have any particular toxic effect, it simply runs its course and doesn’t offer happiness any longer. You should never feel guilty for this but should be sure to remove someone from your life in the right way, e.g. with a face-to-face conversation, giving the other person the closure they need. Think about how you would want this to be done to you.”

Your home 🏡 is an extension of your well being 

“Your home needs to be a place of peace and serenity, somewhere you can go at the end of a long day and feel safe and secure. However, most of us focus on collecting things that clutter up our space and make it hard to relax. We become obsessed with the collection of meaningless items and spending our time on social media, missing out on the here and now.”

“Visual and physical clutter has a negative effect on the brain and makes it difficult for us to focus. The Neuroscience Institute at Princeton University conducted a study that proved that if your general environment is full of clutter, you won’t be able to focus or relax.

Decluttering your home should therefore be a priority, and can be done in 10-minute increments every day. By being organized and doing this in stages, you will make steady progress, helping to declutter your mind as you go along.

Most people hear the phrase “digital detox” and immediately panic. What you should remember, however, is that there was a time before social media, and everyone survived very well indeed! Think about the amount of time you spend on your digital devices, e.g. your phone, laptop, tablet, gaming devices, etc. Then, realize how that is taking you away from the here and now, stopping you from spending valuable time with your loved ones and having real experiences.

Davenport and Scott suggest that you dedicate an hour of digital-free time every single day to a manual hobby such as reading a book, drawing, making something, or playing a musical instrument. You could also think about decluttering your actual devices, too. If you work on a laptop and it’s full of unused files, your brain isn’t going to be able to focus or concentrate on the task at hand.”

Conclusion 

“We’re all so focused on ticking things off our to-do lists and rushing from one appointment to the next, that we forget to actually live. All of this doesn't really achieve much at all, but our brains have been tricked into thinking that doing nothing is actually bad for us. It’s not! Sometimes doing nothing is the best thing to do! Prioritize the tasks you need to do in a day, have personal time when you can simply rest, ensure you set 3 firm goals each day, and focus on them.

You need to avoid one of the biggest focus killers, and certainly one of the fastest ways towards mental clutter — procrastination. Putting things off because we simply don’t want to do them creates a snowball effect in the mind, and these tasks hang over you like a dark cloud. If a task needs doing, then get it done and forget about it. To avoid procrastination, make sure that you plan ahead and work out which tasks are the most important. Make sure you have everything you need to complete the task at hand and take any troublesome distractions out of the equation. You could also try visualization here, e.g. visualizing the feeling of having the task finished, which should spur you on to actually do it. Have some breaks, and then when it’s done, reward yourself.

Your thoughts do not have to control you; they will do so if you let them, but you can take back that control and turn it all around for the better. Negativity doesn’t have to be your go-to setting, and while nobody can be 100% positive all the time, you can reframe your thoughts and become a generally more positive person with the exercises in this book. Being more positive has a huge number of advantages, including greater health and happiness throughout your life, and better relationships as a result.

It's your action time 🏌️

Write ✍️ down the things in your life that you are grateful 💐 for 💟, and help to cultivate that “glass half full” mindset🤔. 

Also, reframe the negative😒 thoughts 💭 you have throughout the day by replacing them with positive😁 ones. 💪

It is a good idea to set aside 10 minutes every day to sit🧖🧘 and do absolutely nothing.”