Self Discipline in Difficult Times
“Trying to move ahead during hard times is vital for survival”
Trying to move ahead is essential when times are hard, but it should be done at the right time. If you try to make changes in your life when you're grieving, suffering, or confused, how can you expect things to work out? Your mind is entirely elsewhere! When situations seem to be a little too much to deal with, remember that self–discipline will get you through. The ways to do that are probably not what you've been attempting so far.”
When you are going through a difficult time, it's important to do something, but that needs to be well–thought–out and at the right time.
““Self–Discipline in Difficult Times” teaches you that moving in some ways is essential, but it has to be the right way. You can only identify which path is correct by giving yourself a little time, accepting the situation, and coming to terms with it. Then, you must allow yourself to feel the emotions connected with whatever you're facing.
Of course, some hardships are more challenging to deal with than others. Losing a loved one is the worst pain you can experience. You have to give yourself the time to grieve and process what has gone on. However, other problems can still turn your world upside down, such as being declared bankrupt or having your heartbroken. These are still hardships, but ones that you can overcome a little easier.
Did you know? According to an article in the journal of environmental research and public health, adults in the U.S. increased alcohol consumption during the COVID–19 pandemic. This points to a way in which the world copes with troubles.”
“During an overseas trip, Martin Meadows received a phone call informing him that a close family member had passed away. Quite understandably, he was heartbroken and began to have panic attacks and obsessive thoughts. It is through these experiences that he realized the importance of taking things slowly and not being too hard on yourself.
People tell you that you should be positive and look to the future, but those words are meaningless. How can you look to the future when you can't see one at that time? There is nothing that can make you feel better when you're struggling with the effects of a completely life–changing event.”
“Immediately after troubling times, focus on eating healthily, getting enough sleep, moving around a little more, and not allowing anyone to make you feel guilty about doing nothing more. You shouldn't rush your healing from a difficult situation. You need to allow the process to take as long as necessary. That's the only way you can come out of the situation feeling somewhat like yourself, albeit slightly changed.
Of course, some problems in this world aren't quite as life–changing but can still cause you a large amount of temporary emotional distress. For instance, breaking up with your long–term partner, being diagnosed with a disease that you will need to manage for the rest of your life, or your business failing. These are all things that turn your world completely upside down for a time until you learn to manage them. They might not change you fundamentally, but they will teach you things. Difficult times either change us or teach us something — be open to both to grow.”
“Acting in the heat of the moment is never a good idea. There has never been a good outcome for anyone who has reacted when their emotions are on high alert. For instance, if you've just argued with your manager, storming out of the office and shouting about it is not a great move. Instead, you should take a moment to calm down, breathe, and allow some time to pass. Of course, this takes self–discipline because your emotions are trying to push you into action.
Clearing your head will allow you to avoid destructive outcomes which could easily be avoided with a bit of thought. Allow your emotions to settle before you say or do anything.”
“It doesn't have to be an argument or anger that pushes you into something. For instance, a relationship problem might force you into the arms of someone else for a night. That leaves you feeling guilty at the fact you've just cheated on your partner, causing another problem. An issue with your business might make you feel anxious and stressed, and you snap at your partner when you get home. That causes them to be upset.”
“Martin Meadows suggests waiting to take any action, going to bed and then in the morning, questioning whether you still want to take the reactive action. The chances are that you won't. The idea is that you're not ignoring what's happening, but you're learning that, to some extent, you can control your emotions and therefore control negative actions.”
“Everyone has a different way of coping with hardships and challenging situations. It's essential to be open to the idea that perhaps your strategy isn't right all the time. Some people isolate themselves from those around them until they feel better. Others throw themselves into partying, drinking, and overeating to try and mask the pain. Some people seek out total solitude and try and think the problem through.
The first step to identifying the best way to cope is to learn what your existing coping mechanisms typically are and then look at whether they've worked well for you in the past. Could you try something different? For instance, if you usually isolate yourself when things go wrong, how about seeking the help of someone close to you instead? Perhaps that could lead to a more positive outcome.”
“Even though coping with difficult situations is a personal deal, there are a few common ways to help. You should certainly make sure that you get enough rest. Stress and emotional reactions can leave you feeling exhausted. You're going to be unable to make positive decisions when you're worn out.
You should also try and get some exercise. When you exercise, your brain releases feel–good endorphins. Your body releases these endorphins regardless of your state of mind, so you can use that fact to try and make yourself feel better. Of course, you're also improving your health in general too.
Martin Meadows suggests trying something called “restorative productivity.” It's not a good idea to make huge decisions at this time, but you can encourage healing and strength by tricking yourself into feeling more productive. Write a to–do list and start ticking items off. Perhaps clean the house, delete some old photos from your phone, do small things which make you feel more in control. You shouldn't try and fix the problem when you're feeling knocked for six, but a little distance and confidence can help you reach the point where you can attempt it. Ironically, this may also help you to see things differently.”
“Once you've allowed yourself the time to process what has happened and recover, you'll want to start taking steps to fix the problem. When this time comes, move forward with caution and take small, measured steps.
Sit down and think about the problem. Try to put it into perspective and come up with a reframed way of looking at it.”
“For instance, you might struggle to find something positive at first when you lose your job, but after a bit of time, you might start to feel that this could be a new start. You can look for a job that you enjoy, helping you to feel empowered during your working day. Everything will have some hidden blessing if you look hard enough. Once you identify that positive, use it as a stepping stone to rebuilding.”
“Avoid focusing on the things that you can't control or influence. If you do that, you're going to feel completely helpless, and you're right back at square one. Take things slowly, day by day. Remember that coming to terms with something which has turned your world upside down takes time. With every baby step you take, you'll rebuild your confidence and strength. Make sure that you move slowly and don't try and push yourself too far, too soon.”
“Thinking about potential future events doesn't mean that you have a negative mindset. It means you're preparing yourself to deal with any challenges that come your way healthily and productively.
Life is full of ups and downs, but you can arm yourself with tips to help you prepare for any future hardships. The most important is to learn from your mistakes; learn from what hasn't worked well for you. Put all of this knowledge to good use next time something challenges you or causes you difficulty.”
“Martin Meadows suggests stretching yourself out of your comfort zone. Not only will this help you to deal with things in a better way next time, but it will also build your confidence and help you grow. Expose yourself to things that worry you or scare you, face your fears and knock them down. By doing this, you're developing your resilience and confidence; both are key when dealing with future hardships and challenges.
Also, allow yourself to feel negative emotions and understand them. Allow yourself to suffer a little, and don't try and constantly push negativity away. By doing that, you learn how to cope with the emotions that you may otherwise struggle with. This lessens the emotional impact of a problem in the future.
Push yourself out of your comfort zone and do things that you would typically shy away from. You'll build your confidence and surprise yourself!”
“When a friend or someone close to you struggles with hardship, it's easy to try and stay away. You assume they need space and that they will call you if they need you. Not everyone feels able to call on others when they're struggling, and as a result, they're trying to cope alone.”
“Check in on them regularly, let them know that you're rooting for them and that you're there for them. Remember that the way they feel and how you feel are two different things; don't judge based on what you would think or feel. Instead, try and focus on them and what they're telling you about their thoughts and feelings.”
“Also, avoid saying “It'll be okay” or other empty words. Sure, we tend to fall back on these because we're not sure what else to say, but a person going through something difficult isn't going to find comfort in you telling them things like this. Can you think back to the last time someone said them to you? Did you find it comforting? Probably not.
Instead, acknowledge what they're going through and agree that it does indeed suck. Don't try and comfort them with empty words or lies; be honest and open and comfort them with the truth. Simply being there and being supportive is often enough.
Conclusion
“Difficult times come to us all. It's not possible to altogether avoid the chances of having to handle something challenging or heartbreaking, but it is possible to learn how to handle these situations with more positivity. That means your future will also be brighter because better decisions mean a more effective outcome.
If a situation comes your way and turns your life completely upside down, be kind to yourself. Give yourself the time to heal and don't feel rushed, either by yourself or by others. Everyone moves at a different pace, and that's okay.
Turn your attention inwards and rest a little, building up the strength until you reach the point where you're ready to pull yourself back up. It might feel like that point isn't going to come, but by focusing on your health and wellbeing, you'll get there faster. Giving yourself a moment to breathe also helps you to avoid negative actions, as a result of heightened emotions. We all know how it feels to be angry; you suddenly see red and the desire to act is almost irresistible. However, you must resist! You must give yourself a moment and allow the peak to pass.
In the end, it's about identifying ways to handle problems in a better way than before. Learn from your mistakes and focus on perhaps seeing things differently this time. Your tried and tested method hasn't worked for you so far, and that means you need to look for a better option. It's out there; you just need to be proactive and find it!
Try this
• Think about how you generally handle difficult situations — do you run away and hide? Do you throw yourself into partying? Do you seek help from others? Assess whether it works well for you and think about other recovery methods to try next time.
• Identify your recovery buddy. Identify one person who you can go to when you're struggling.
• Check–in with your friends regularly. They might be struggling and don't have the courage to reach out to you.”
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