What to Do If... ? by Anne-maartje Oud 35 Questions You'll Need to Answer at Work
What's it about?
What to Do If…? (2026) is a hands-on playbook for the messy, human side of modern work. It shows you how to read behaviour in real time, communicate without confusion, give feedback people can actually use, and hire in a way that doesn’t come back to bite you. Through simple tools and recognisable scenarios, it equips managers, HR professionals, and team members to handle tricky moments with clarity instead of guesswork.
Work would be simple if it were just tasks. But it’s not – it’s people.
A colleague starts crying mid-feedback. A “perfect” hire turns into a team bully. A quick deadline check spirals into tension. These moments happen everywhere and most people are left to improvise.
So they do. The manager goes with their gut. The HR partner hopes for the best. The team lead smooths things over instead of addressing the issue. Sometimes it works. But often it creates confusion, erodes trust, or plants problems that resurface later when they’re bigger and harder to fix.
The difference comes down to a key skill: reading behaviour.
People are constantly signalling what’s going on through tone, timing, posture, and tiny reactions. Like the colleague who avoids eye contact while promising “I’ll finish it today.” Or the candidate who’s warm with the hiring manager but dismissive to reception. Once you start noticing these signals, everything shifts.
You start asking sharper questions. You pause instead of reacting. You spot patterns before they explode into problems. That changes outcomes fast. Hiring becomes more deliberate, and feedback lands better. Difficult conversations stop feeling like emotional minefields and start producing actual progress.
This isn’t flashy leadership. It’s more valuable than that. It’s about becoming the person people rely on when things get messy. Calm. Clear. Consistent.
That’s what we’ll be exploring in this lesson.
Behaviour and identity get tangled up more often than they should. Most of us like to think we’re consistent people, so when someone suggests we change how we act, it can feel like we’re being asked to change who we are. That’s where resistance creeps in. Leaders talk about better performance, smoother collaboration, clearer communication. Then the moment arrives where they might need to act differently, and something pulls them back. It feels inauthentic, like putting on a mask.
But behaviour isn’t identity. It’s closer to clothing than to skin: you can change it to suit the weather without becoming a different person.
Think about a manager who’s known for being warm and supportive. One day she has to tell a team member, plainly, that their work isn’t good enough. She chooses her words carefully, but they don’t soften the message. That doesn’t suddenly make her cold; it just means she’s doing what the situation requires. Or take a colleague who’s usually patient and thoughtful. After a long afternoon of deadlines and back-to-back calls, he snaps at someone. It’s not his finest moment, but it’s also not his identity. A quick “sorry about earlier” the next day is usually enough to reset things.
Once you stop treating behaviour as a fixed label, it becomes easier to experiment. You can try things on. You can adjust. You can drop what doesn’t fit. A simple way into this is to watch people you admire at work. Notice what they actually do. The colleague who comes across as confident in meetings is probably not confident by accident. They sit upright, they don’t rush their words, they leave a beat before they respond. None of that’s magic. It’s behaviour you can copy and practise.
The same goes for other skills. If you want to seem more decisive, try ending meetings with a clear summary, like “Here’s what we agreed, here’s what happens next.” If you want to come across as more approachable, start a tough conversation with something human, like “How are you doing today?” before getting into the issue.
It might feel a bit awkward at first, but that’s normal: anything new does. The key is to reflect as you go. What worked? What felt right? What would you do again? Over time, these small adjustments add up. You become more flexible and more effective while remaining true to yourself.
Conversations sit at the centre of almost everything we do at work. Projects move forward through them. Decisions get made in them. Feedback, alignment, problem solving – it all happens when people talk to each other. And yet, for something so central, we’re often surprisingly careless about how we handle them. We talk a lot, but we don’t always talk well.
The good news is that better conversations aren’t a personality trait, but a skill. And like any skill, they improve with a bit of attention and practice.
A useful place to start is preparation. You don’t have to script every word in advance, but you do need to take a moment to think about the situation. Where is this happening? How much time do you have? Who else is involved? A quick exchange by the coffee machine is a very different setting to a scheduled conversation in a meeting room, and it should feel different too.
You’ll also need to be clear about your goal. Before you start, ask yourself what you actually want to get out of the conversation. Maybe you need to address a missed deadline. Maybe you want agreement on next steps. Maybe you’re trying to understand why two colleagues are not seeing eye to eye. When your goal is clear, it’s much easier to keep things on track and avoid going in circles.
And be aware of the hat you’re wearing. The same words can land very differently depending on your role. A suggestion from a peer feels optional; the same suggestion from a manager can feel like a decision. Being clear, at least in your own mind, about your role helps you judge how to show up.
Of course, not every conversation comes with a warning – like when someone catches you in the hallway with a quick “Got a minute?” In those moments, a simple question can bring instant focus. Something like, “What are you hoping to figure out?” helps both of you get to the point quickly.
Then comes the part most people rush past: listening. It sounds obvious, but it’s where many conversations fall apart. We jump in too quickly, offer solutions too soon, or half-listen while planning what to say next. Slowing down here helps. Pay attention to the words people choose. Notice what they repeat or emphasise. That’s usually where the real issue sits.
Good listening leads to better questions. The key words here are who, what, when, and why. Open questions that use these words invite people to think and explain. Questions like “What’s getting in the way?” or “What would help right now?” move conversations forward far more effectively than jumping straight to advice.
Feedback is just conversation with a bit more purpose. It tells people where they stand and shows them what’s working and what’s not. When teams get into the habit of giving and receiving feedback, things run more smoothly: expectations are clearer, small issues get dealt with early, and fewer problems snowball into something bigger.
Timing here is critical. Feedback lands best when it’s close to the moment. Leave it too long and it becomes fuzzy, or worse, irrelevant. At the same time, where you have the conversation matters just as much as when. Calling someone out in front of a client or a room full of colleagues rarely goes well. A quick, private word is usually all it takes and does far less damage to trust.
Good feedback is grounded in what you’ve actually seen or heard, not what you think might have happened. Take a moment to check your facts and look for patterns. One late report might be a bad day; three in a row is something worth talking about.
The way you describe things also matters. Vague labels like “unprofessional” or “careless” don’t give people much to work with. Specific examples do. Saying, “You joined the last two client calls late and the report came in a day after the deadline,” gives the other person something clear and concrete to respond to.
It’s just as important to notice what’s going well. This is where many leaders fall short. A quick “you handled that client meeting really clearly” or “that update was easy to follow” reinforces the behaviour you want to see more of. It also builds goodwill, which makes tougher conversations easier later on.
When something does need to change, connect the behaviour to its impact: that’s what makes feedback stick. If someone is slow to reply to emails, spell out what that causes. Decisions get delayed. Projects stall. Other people are left waiting. Or make it more personal, with something like: “When I don’t hear back, I’m not sure if this is a priority.” That helps the message land without turning it into blame.
Then look forward. Feedback should open a door, not close one. Offer a suggestion, or ask what might help. “Would it work to agree a response time?” “Do you need anything to keep this moving?” These keep the conversation practical and constructive.
Over time, this kind of feedback becomes part of how a team works day to day. Nothing dramatic, just small, timely conversations. Speak up early, stay specific, and keep the focus on behaviour and impact. People will improve faster, and working together will feel a lot easier for everyone.
Trust holds teams together when things get tricky. Without it, everything starts to wobble. But it’s quick to lose and slow to build. Big gestures and polished speeches don’t cut it. What really matters is what you do day in, day out. The key, in short, is consistency.
People notice actions more than intentions. If a manager says, “I’ll send that update later,” and then forgets, it chips away at confidence. Do that a few times and people start to doubt what they hear. On the other hand, following through on small promises – sending the update, making the introduction, checking in when you said you would – builds trust. None of it’s dramatic, but it adds up.
How you show up in conversations matters just as much. Body language speaks before you do. Eye contact, an open posture, and actually listening signal that you’re present. Glancing at your phone while agreeing to something sends the opposite message. Even something as simple as putting your laptop aside can change the tone of a conversation.
Giving credit properly is also vital. When leaders absorb ideas as their own, people notice, and motivation drops. When they say, “This came from Maria on the product team,” or “James pulled this together,” it has the opposite effect. It builds trust and encourages others to speak up.
Then there are the small, everyday signals of respect: letting someone finish their point, greeting people when you pass them, holding the door when their hands are full. None of these take effort, but they shape how safe and comfortable people feel around you.
A bit of personal connection helps as well. Remembering that someone just got back from holiday or asking how their new puppy is settling in shows that you see them as more than a role on a chart. It makes working together feel easier and more human.
If you want to take this trust even deeper, offer support. When things get busy or stressful, people notice who steps in. Offering help, clearing obstacles, or simply asking, “What do you need from me?” shows that your leadership is not just about direction, but about backing your team.
Put all of this together and trust stops being abstract. It becomes something practical. Do it consistently, and you become the kind of leader people rely on.
Most workplace problems start during hiring. The people you bring in shape how work feels day to day, influencing how decisions get made, people treat each other, and problems get handled. Skills matter, of course, but behaviour and values matter just as much.
Rushed hiring is where things usually go wrong. A quick scan of a CV, a friendly interview, a good gut feeling, and then a decision gets made. It feels efficient, but it often skips over the details that really matter. Taking a bit more time upfront can save a lot of trouble later.
It all starts with actually reading the CV properly. Look past the job titles and focus on the story underneath. Does the timeline make sense? Someone who’s moved roles every year might bring useful experience, or it might point to a pattern of friction. You aren’t looking for perfection, just for clues. Cross-referencing what you find on the CV with the candidate’s profile on a site like LinkedIn can highlight gaps or inconsistencies. Sometimes there’s a simple explanation; sometimes there isn’t. Either way, it gives you better questions to ask.
You shouldn’t overlook the value of references, either. Many companies reach out to the named manager and leave it there. That gives you one perspective, but not always the full picture. Speaking to former colleagues can be more revealing. How does this person behave when things get tense? Do they collaborate, or do they compete? Those details show up in everyday work, not just in formal reporting lines.
Pay attention to the small signals as well, like how someone writes an email, how they treat the receptionist, or how they talk about previous teams. These moments are often more telling than polished interview answers. People tend to show their default behaviour in the gaps.
As for the interviews themselves, they should go beyond just talking. Give candidates something to do. A short task, a case, a problem to think through. Watching how someone approaches a challenge, or responds to feedback, tells you far more than asking them to describe their strengths.
And when something feels off, don’t ignore it. Dismissive jokes, subtle digs, or a slightly defensive tone can be easy to brush aside in the moment. Over time, those behaviours rarely soften. More often, they grow.
Finally, make sure you listen to the people involved throughout the hiring process. HR, hiring managers, even team members often pick up on early signals. If several people feel unsure, it’s worth paying attention.
Hiring well isn’t about being overly cautious. It’s about being deliberate. Skills can be developed, but attitudes are much harder to shift. Take the time to look closely, ask better questions, and notice what’s in front of you. It’s one of the simplest ways to protect the team you’re building, and equip you for the workplace challenges to come.
In this lesson to What to do if…? by Anne-Maartje Oud you’ve learned how to handle the ins and outs of the modern workplace. You saw that behaviour doesn’t define identity, and professionals can experiment with new ways of acting to grow. You also learned that clear conversations require preparation, purpose, and attentive listening.
Timely specific feedback improves performance and strengthens collaboration, and leaders earn trust through consistent behaviour, respect, and genuine attention to people. Careful hiring protects culture by screening for values and behaviour. These habits build healthier teams, stronger leadership, and workplaces where people can thrive together.
What to Do If…? (2026) is a hands-on playbook for the messy, human side of modern work. It shows you how to read behaviour in real time, communicate without confusion, give feedback people can actually use, and hire in a way that doesn’t come back to bite you. Through simple tools and recognisable scenarios, it equips managers, HR professionals, and team members to handle tricky moments with clarity instead of guesswork.
Work would be simple if it were just tasks. But it’s not – it’s people.
A colleague starts crying mid-feedback. A “perfect” hire turns into a team bully. A quick deadline check spirals into tension. These moments happen everywhere and most people are left to improvise.
So they do. The manager goes with their gut. The HR partner hopes for the best. The team lead smooths things over instead of addressing the issue. Sometimes it works. But often it creates confusion, erodes trust, or plants problems that resurface later when they’re bigger and harder to fix.
The difference comes down to a key skill: reading behaviour.
People are constantly signalling what’s going on through tone, timing, posture, and tiny reactions. Like the colleague who avoids eye contact while promising “I’ll finish it today.” Or the candidate who’s warm with the hiring manager but dismissive to reception. Once you start noticing these signals, everything shifts.
You start asking sharper questions. You pause instead of reacting. You spot patterns before they explode into problems. That changes outcomes fast. Hiring becomes more deliberate, and feedback lands better. Difficult conversations stop feeling like emotional minefields and start producing actual progress.
This isn’t flashy leadership. It’s more valuable than that. It’s about becoming the person people rely on when things get messy. Calm. Clear. Consistent.
That’s what we’ll be exploring in this lesson.
Behaviour and identity get tangled up more often than they should. Most of us like to think we’re consistent people, so when someone suggests we change how we act, it can feel like we’re being asked to change who we are. That’s where resistance creeps in. Leaders talk about better performance, smoother collaboration, clearer communication. Then the moment arrives where they might need to act differently, and something pulls them back. It feels inauthentic, like putting on a mask.
But behaviour isn’t identity. It’s closer to clothing than to skin: you can change it to suit the weather without becoming a different person.
Think about a manager who’s known for being warm and supportive. One day she has to tell a team member, plainly, that their work isn’t good enough. She chooses her words carefully, but they don’t soften the message. That doesn’t suddenly make her cold; it just means she’s doing what the situation requires. Or take a colleague who’s usually patient and thoughtful. After a long afternoon of deadlines and back-to-back calls, he snaps at someone. It’s not his finest moment, but it’s also not his identity. A quick “sorry about earlier” the next day is usually enough to reset things.
Once you stop treating behaviour as a fixed label, it becomes easier to experiment. You can try things on. You can adjust. You can drop what doesn’t fit. A simple way into this is to watch people you admire at work. Notice what they actually do. The colleague who comes across as confident in meetings is probably not confident by accident. They sit upright, they don’t rush their words, they leave a beat before they respond. None of that’s magic. It’s behaviour you can copy and practise.
The same goes for other skills. If you want to seem more decisive, try ending meetings with a clear summary, like “Here’s what we agreed, here’s what happens next.” If you want to come across as more approachable, start a tough conversation with something human, like “How are you doing today?” before getting into the issue.
It might feel a bit awkward at first, but that’s normal: anything new does. The key is to reflect as you go. What worked? What felt right? What would you do again? Over time, these small adjustments add up. You become more flexible and more effective while remaining true to yourself.
Conversations sit at the centre of almost everything we do at work. Projects move forward through them. Decisions get made in them. Feedback, alignment, problem solving – it all happens when people talk to each other. And yet, for something so central, we’re often surprisingly careless about how we handle them. We talk a lot, but we don’t always talk well.
The good news is that better conversations aren’t a personality trait, but a skill. And like any skill, they improve with a bit of attention and practice.
A useful place to start is preparation. You don’t have to script every word in advance, but you do need to take a moment to think about the situation. Where is this happening? How much time do you have? Who else is involved? A quick exchange by the coffee machine is a very different setting to a scheduled conversation in a meeting room, and it should feel different too.
You’ll also need to be clear about your goal. Before you start, ask yourself what you actually want to get out of the conversation. Maybe you need to address a missed deadline. Maybe you want agreement on next steps. Maybe you’re trying to understand why two colleagues are not seeing eye to eye. When your goal is clear, it’s much easier to keep things on track and avoid going in circles.
And be aware of the hat you’re wearing. The same words can land very differently depending on your role. A suggestion from a peer feels optional; the same suggestion from a manager can feel like a decision. Being clear, at least in your own mind, about your role helps you judge how to show up.
Of course, not every conversation comes with a warning – like when someone catches you in the hallway with a quick “Got a minute?” In those moments, a simple question can bring instant focus. Something like, “What are you hoping to figure out?” helps both of you get to the point quickly.
Then comes the part most people rush past: listening. It sounds obvious, but it’s where many conversations fall apart. We jump in too quickly, offer solutions too soon, or half-listen while planning what to say next. Slowing down here helps. Pay attention to the words people choose. Notice what they repeat or emphasise. That’s usually where the real issue sits.
Good listening leads to better questions. The key words here are who, what, when, and why. Open questions that use these words invite people to think and explain. Questions like “What’s getting in the way?” or “What would help right now?” move conversations forward far more effectively than jumping straight to advice.
Feedback is just conversation with a bit more purpose. It tells people where they stand and shows them what’s working and what’s not. When teams get into the habit of giving and receiving feedback, things run more smoothly: expectations are clearer, small issues get dealt with early, and fewer problems snowball into something bigger.
Timing here is critical. Feedback lands best when it’s close to the moment. Leave it too long and it becomes fuzzy, or worse, irrelevant. At the same time, where you have the conversation matters just as much as when. Calling someone out in front of a client or a room full of colleagues rarely goes well. A quick, private word is usually all it takes and does far less damage to trust.
Good feedback is grounded in what you’ve actually seen or heard, not what you think might have happened. Take a moment to check your facts and look for patterns. One late report might be a bad day; three in a row is something worth talking about.
The way you describe things also matters. Vague labels like “unprofessional” or “careless” don’t give people much to work with. Specific examples do. Saying, “You joined the last two client calls late and the report came in a day after the deadline,” gives the other person something clear and concrete to respond to.
It’s just as important to notice what’s going well. This is where many leaders fall short. A quick “you handled that client meeting really clearly” or “that update was easy to follow” reinforces the behaviour you want to see more of. It also builds goodwill, which makes tougher conversations easier later on.
When something does need to change, connect the behaviour to its impact: that’s what makes feedback stick. If someone is slow to reply to emails, spell out what that causes. Decisions get delayed. Projects stall. Other people are left waiting. Or make it more personal, with something like: “When I don’t hear back, I’m not sure if this is a priority.” That helps the message land without turning it into blame.
Then look forward. Feedback should open a door, not close one. Offer a suggestion, or ask what might help. “Would it work to agree a response time?” “Do you need anything to keep this moving?” These keep the conversation practical and constructive.
Over time, this kind of feedback becomes part of how a team works day to day. Nothing dramatic, just small, timely conversations. Speak up early, stay specific, and keep the focus on behaviour and impact. People will improve faster, and working together will feel a lot easier for everyone.
Trust holds teams together when things get tricky. Without it, everything starts to wobble. But it’s quick to lose and slow to build. Big gestures and polished speeches don’t cut it. What really matters is what you do day in, day out. The key, in short, is consistency.
People notice actions more than intentions. If a manager says, “I’ll send that update later,” and then forgets, it chips away at confidence. Do that a few times and people start to doubt what they hear. On the other hand, following through on small promises – sending the update, making the introduction, checking in when you said you would – builds trust. None of it’s dramatic, but it adds up.
How you show up in conversations matters just as much. Body language speaks before you do. Eye contact, an open posture, and actually listening signal that you’re present. Glancing at your phone while agreeing to something sends the opposite message. Even something as simple as putting your laptop aside can change the tone of a conversation.
Giving credit properly is also vital. When leaders absorb ideas as their own, people notice, and motivation drops. When they say, “This came from Maria on the product team,” or “James pulled this together,” it has the opposite effect. It builds trust and encourages others to speak up.
Then there are the small, everyday signals of respect: letting someone finish their point, greeting people when you pass them, holding the door when their hands are full. None of these take effort, but they shape how safe and comfortable people feel around you.
A bit of personal connection helps as well. Remembering that someone just got back from holiday or asking how their new puppy is settling in shows that you see them as more than a role on a chart. It makes working together feel easier and more human.
If you want to take this trust even deeper, offer support. When things get busy or stressful, people notice who steps in. Offering help, clearing obstacles, or simply asking, “What do you need from me?” shows that your leadership is not just about direction, but about backing your team.
Put all of this together and trust stops being abstract. It becomes something practical. Do it consistently, and you become the kind of leader people rely on.
Most workplace problems start during hiring. The people you bring in shape how work feels day to day, influencing how decisions get made, people treat each other, and problems get handled. Skills matter, of course, but behaviour and values matter just as much.
Rushed hiring is where things usually go wrong. A quick scan of a CV, a friendly interview, a good gut feeling, and then a decision gets made. It feels efficient, but it often skips over the details that really matter. Taking a bit more time upfront can save a lot of trouble later.
It all starts with actually reading the CV properly. Look past the job titles and focus on the story underneath. Does the timeline make sense? Someone who’s moved roles every year might bring useful experience, or it might point to a pattern of friction. You aren’t looking for perfection, just for clues. Cross-referencing what you find on the CV with the candidate’s profile on a site like LinkedIn can highlight gaps or inconsistencies. Sometimes there’s a simple explanation; sometimes there isn’t. Either way, it gives you better questions to ask.
You shouldn’t overlook the value of references, either. Many companies reach out to the named manager and leave it there. That gives you one perspective, but not always the full picture. Speaking to former colleagues can be more revealing. How does this person behave when things get tense? Do they collaborate, or do they compete? Those details show up in everyday work, not just in formal reporting lines.
Pay attention to the small signals as well, like how someone writes an email, how they treat the receptionist, or how they talk about previous teams. These moments are often more telling than polished interview answers. People tend to show their default behaviour in the gaps.
As for the interviews themselves, they should go beyond just talking. Give candidates something to do. A short task, a case, a problem to think through. Watching how someone approaches a challenge, or responds to feedback, tells you far more than asking them to describe their strengths.
And when something feels off, don’t ignore it. Dismissive jokes, subtle digs, or a slightly defensive tone can be easy to brush aside in the moment. Over time, those behaviours rarely soften. More often, they grow.
Finally, make sure you listen to the people involved throughout the hiring process. HR, hiring managers, even team members often pick up on early signals. If several people feel unsure, it’s worth paying attention.
Hiring well isn’t about being overly cautious. It’s about being deliberate. Skills can be developed, but attitudes are much harder to shift. Take the time to look closely, ask better questions, and notice what’s in front of you. It’s one of the simplest ways to protect the team you’re building, and equip you for the workplace challenges to come.
In this lesson to What to do if…? by Anne-Maartje Oud you’ve learned how to handle the ins and outs of the modern workplace. You saw that behaviour doesn’t define identity, and professionals can experiment with new ways of acting to grow. You also learned that clear conversations require preparation, purpose, and attentive listening.
Timely specific feedback improves performance and strengthens collaboration, and leaders earn trust through consistent behaviour, respect, and genuine attention to people. Careful hiring protects culture by screening for values and behaviour. These habits build healthier teams, stronger leadership, and workplaces where people can thrive together.
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