Lessons from the Book 📚 Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself

Overview

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One (2012) by Dr. Joe Dispenza is a self-help book about shaking off negativity and using meditation to effect positive change. Many people don’t realize how much their mental life directs their physical experience of the world. The connection between subjective and objective reality, and mind and matter, is very strong. Reality is pliable; it’s something that everyone constructs mentally each day. People who don’t consciously construct their reality surrender control over it, and often become mired in negativity.

It’s easy to believe that circumstances shape thoughts and feelings. But really the opposite is true: thoughts and feelings shape circumstances. Most people’s brains respond to their external realities, perpetuating whatever problems they’re experiencing. To break free from an existing problem, the brain must proactively imagine the world in a new way, which will affect material reality.

An important step is to recognize the structure of the brain. Habits of mind, including the way people regard themselves and others, can be established beneath the level of conscious awareness. If these habits are repeated often enough, they establish neural networks in the brain. Patterns such as feeling unsatisfied at work harden into memory through the formation of neural pathways. These neural pathways cause people to follow the familiar contours of their own discontent much like the way in which they make the same commute to work each morning. But what’s familiar isn’t always what’s best.

The power of the subconscious can be enlisted to shape a new, better reality. The trick is to imagine a new set of external circumstances and pretend that they are real. Through the power of quantum physics, these thoughts will affect material reality. A person living in a small apartment might choose to imagine being in a large house. Another person in a big city might imagine life on a farm. Sick people can imagine themselves in good health. By conjuring the future in the realm of imagination, the energy of the imagined reality will transform into physical matter.

During this exercise of imagination, it’s important to disregard whatever the present, less pleasant reality may be. If surroundings seem dreary, it’s only the product of a dreary inner life. Happiness always comes from within, so it must emerge first in the psyche before it can manifest itself in the world. Just as a fictional movie can make someone cry, a state of happiness can be induced. The emotion need not be tied to external reality other than as a creative force.

A stressed-out brain and body can’t bring about positive transformation. Stress bathes the brain in toxic chemicals that aren’t conducive to a positive inner state. The contemporary world often causes people to exhaust themselves by feeling constantly agitated and aroused. When the brain and body are balanced, it’s possible to inhabit a constructive creative mode. The best way to achieve this is by meditating, which can help break down habits of thought, erase stress, and enlist the power of the subconscious mind.

Too many people falsely assume that their personalities are set in stone. This is far from true. The brain has a natural ability to adapt itself to different circumstances, a power that can be enormously beneficial. One must only tap into it to reap the rewards.

Key Insights

Thoughts shape reality.

Practicing a skill mentally, in the realm of imagination, can boost that skill in real life.

Genetic destiny is determined in part by personal choices.

The brain can heal the body.

Chronic stress causes people to become preoccupied with self-preservation, which degrades their quality of life.

The human brain has the incredible ability to reshape itself.

Meditation can help people erase negativity from their lives and create more positive experiences.

Happiness comes from within. It’s never a product of something in the material world.

Key Insight References

[#1: Ch. 1; #2: Ch. 2; #3: Ch. 3; #4: Ch. 8; #5: Ch. 5; #6: Ch. 6; #7: Part III; #8: Ch. 7]

Key Insight 1

Thoughts shape reality. 

Mental energy is a powerful tool that can effect significant change in anyone’s life. In quantum physics, observation has the power to change material conditions. By focusing your thoughts on a goal, you’re much more likely to achieve it. Specificity is key. For example, if you devote serious thought to becoming $1,000 richer, that exact amount of money will find its way into your life.

Jack Canfield, the co-founder of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series and the author of The Success Principles (2004), points to visualization as one of the key tools used by successful people. He recommends carefully envisioning key goals down to the smallest detail. For instance, if you dream of owning a beach house, a visualization exercise should include its precise location, its exact layout, the color of the paint on the walls, the furnishings, and landscaping. If you can engage sensory details beyond visuals, such as scents, sounds, and textures, the vision becomes even more powerful. Canfield recommends visualizing key goals for about 10 to 15 minutes every day.

If for some reason you have a difficult time seeing the beach house in your mind’s eye, you can use images, photographs, or symbols as a visual aid. For example, a person whose goal is to buy a certain car might cut out an advertisement from a magazine or snap a photo at the car lot. Those who want to go on a European vacation might create a vision board with sights they wish to see, hotels they wish to stay in, or restaurants to try. Before the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book was published, Canfield mocked-up an image of the New York Times bestseller list with the book as #1. In a little over a year, his dream became a reality.

Canfield believes that visualization works by activating the powers of the subconscious. By thinking about a house or a car or a vacation, you set your subconscious into motion to find the means to achieve the dream. The subconscious is motivated to resolve the tension between the life you lead and the life you want to lead, and won’t stop until the goal is achieved. [1]

Key Insight 2

Practicing a skill mentally, in the realm of imagination, can boost that skill in real life. 

Mental rehearsal—that is, performing an action in one’s mind—can impact real performance. For example, a piano player who practices an exercise in the mind can generally recreate the same movements on a physical keyboard. Mental rehearsal is an effective form of practice in pursuits as varied as athletics and psychotherapy. With the latter, therapists can help people with anxiety disorders handle their worst fears in a clinical setting before facing them down in the material world. A man with a phobia of germs, for instance, might first practice relaxation techniques by imagining himself in an anxiety-inducing situation, like a public bathroom. Knowing that the stakes aren’t real, he is more receptive to the coping techniques than he would be otherwise. These imaginative sessions can build over time in duration and intensity before transferring to a real-life setting. By the time the patient enters a real public bathroom, he has practiced the relaxation techniques enough to face the fear.

This mental rehearsal technique is known as desensitization, and it involves three points of reference: physical, emotional, and mental. Physically, the patient might breathe deeply or close his eyes. Emotionally, he might try to soothe himself with positive self-talk. Mentally, he can try to reframe the problem so that he emphasizes the benefit of accessing a public restroom over the risk of germs.

The imaginative component to mental rehearsal is critical. In other words, the patient has to imagine the situation vividly enough to stir up real emotions. A purely theoretical exercise wouldn’t work. Patients don’t just practice how to stay calm in difficult circumstances; they imagine the difficult circumstances to practice coping techniques. This form of engaged mental rehearsal allows the brain to form new neural pathways that will be engaged later, when the situation arises in the real world. [2]

Key Insight 3

Genetic destiny is determined in part by personal choices. 

As recently as the 1900s, scientists believed that genes were purely a matter of inheritance; whatever you were born with would determine your destiny. But a field known as epigenetics upended that understanding, proving that environmental variables are the most important factors in how people age and whether or not they develop disease. In Super Genes (2015), Deepak Chopra and Rudolph Tanzi discuss how lifestyle choices can affect mood, susceptibility to seasonal illnesses like the flu, energy levels, sleep cycles, digestion, and more. Good choices like ample sleep and healthful eating generally lead to positive genetic activity, while an unhealthy lifestyle can corrupt genetic material.

According to Chopra and Tanzi, every person possesses a super genome that contains DNA and around 23,000 genes. Each strand of DNA has a switch that functions much like the dimmer on a light switch. Genes can be turned on or off, and once they are “on,” they can be turned up or down. This activity is governed by the proteins that serve as a buffer around the DNA. These proteins are volatile and sensitive, and they respond to both physical and cognitive input. In effect, what your body does or what your mind thinks controls what happens to your DNA.

Genetic material influences most of our physical characteristics, including our weight and the way in which our cells reproduce. These traits are variable, meaning that lifestyle choices might make a difference. A lesser amount of genetic material leads to firmly fixed characteristics like eye color. These traits are known as fully penetrant, or unchangeable. Fully penetrant genes comprise as little as 5 percent of the human body’s system. The remaining 95 percent of a person’s DNA isn’t fully fixed or predetermined, which means that it can be influenced by lifestyle choices. [3]

Key Insight 4

The brain can heal the body. 

When the brain is calm and orderly, the body can heal or maintain good health. When the mind is agitated, it creates an environment that is conducive to sickness and disorder. A powerful example of the mind-body connection is how mental state can affect the experience of pain. Pain signals can be interpreted in different ways depending on variables like mood, expectations, and even who else is in the room. Of course, physical considerations matter, too; someone who breaks an arm is bound to feel pain. But two people with analogous breaks won’t necessarily experience the same level of pain. And multiple studies with rodents and humans have explored the idea that pain is contagious like a virus that can be passed from animal to animal.

Mental health can also play an important role in the experience of pain. People who suffer from depression or anxiety disorders are more likely to also experience chronic physical pain. The reverse is also true: people with physical pain are more vulnerable to depression and anxiety. The overlap suggests that the brain may process pain and emotion in the same area, which creates a comorbidity.

The different ways in which people experience pain have profound implications for pain management, which is an area of interest for researchers in the US, which has been beset by the opioid crisis. Doctors may want to weigh patients’ personal histories more heavily in their evaluations of pain intensity, for example, instead of conceptualizing pain as an abstract, objective thing that can be measured. Consequently, a doctor’s level of empathy can be another variable that impacts how much pain a patient feels; the more empathetic the doctor, the more likely the patient is to experience relief. [4]

Key Insight 5

Chronic stress causes people to become preoccupied with self-preservation, which degrades their quality of life. 

Stress triggers a physiological response that puts the brain and body into high gear, sometimes known as fight-or-flight mode. When stress is prolonged for any reason, living in this agitated state can take a heavy toll. Researchers who study poverty, for instance, have discovered that a chronic lack of money negatively impacts the ability to think, and particularly the ability to make decisions. Worrying about finances and basic supplies saps so much mental energy from people living in poverty that they have little brainpower left for important decisions, long-term planning, and problem solving. The brain becomes preoccupied to the point of inefficacy, a psychological phenomenon known as tunneling.

What’s perhaps most unfortunate about tunneling is that any mistakes that are caused by a lack of cognitive resources are then compounded by a lack of monetary resources. A poverty-stricken person who misses work or forgets to take medication, for instance, may be less capable of dealing with the consequences of those mistakes than someone who is financially stable. Researchers believe that, given more resources, the same people who make bad decisions would be capable of better decisions. Mistakes that are made under the constraints of poverty are similar to car wrecks that drivers cause while texting or talking on the phone. In other words, poverty is a terrible distraction. [5]

Key Insight 6

The human brain has the incredible ability to reshape itself. 

Scientists once believed that a person’s brain and personality became resistant to change in early adulthood. But they were wrong. In fact, the brain can reinvent itself on command. Most people just don’t think to activate this power because they’re stuck in the habits they’ve established over time.

Neuroscientists refer to the brain’s capacity for reformulation as neuroplasticity. Scientists first learned about the phenomenon by studying people whose brains or bodies had undergone some sort of trauma. In The Brain That Changes Itself , Norman Doidge describes a patient who had lost her sense of balance after a bad reaction to a prescription drug. The drug had stolen her capacity for balance, which left her barely able to walk, work, or even function.

For some time, the woman’s case was considered hopeless. But then a team of doctors fashioned a balance aid out of a modified construction hat outfitted with a device called an accelerometer. Connected to the patient’s tongue with flat electrodes, the hat sent her brain signals that helped her regain her balance. Notably, the hat didn’t restore her former function. Instead, it stimulated new neural pathways to do the job. Eventually, the new pathways became strong enough that the woman no longer had to wear the hat. She regained her balance using an entirely new area of her brain, proving its incredible ability to adapt to new circumstances. [6]

Key Insight 7

Meditation can help people erase negativity from their lives and create more positive experiences. 

Before you can build a new life, it’s necessary to let go of the old one. Often, people sabotage their own lives by allowing a dominant emotion like sadness or anger to dictate their behavior. Meditative techniques can help them resolve negative emotions and move forward in life.

In 10% Happier , television journalist Dan Harris describes his gradual acceptance of meditation and mindfulness techniques to calm his perpetually stressed brain. Early in his meditative practice, Harris attended a silent retreat where he learned to endure mental and physical agony. For instance, during one long meditative session in which his back hurt, Harris resisted the urge to move his body to relieve the pain. Instead of seeking escape, Harris learned to accept the pain, which in turn helped his mind and body to release it.

Later, Harris found that the same mindfulness meditation practice helped him deal with emotionally charged days at work. On days when a project such as a segment he produced for a show didn’t air, he learned to sit with his anger instead of taking it out on his colleagues. He could not block the sensation of anger, but he could choose how to handle the anger.

Later, at a self-help conference led by psychologist Tara Brach, Harris learned how to articulate the practice he had learned more informally during the silent retreat. The process was to recognize, allow, investigate, and not identify with a given emotion—spelling out the acronym RAIN. The recognition stage was simply to acknowledge the emotion’s existence: “I am angry.” Then Harris allowed the emotion by giving himself permission to feel the full force of his anger. He investigated the emotion by scanning his body to observe any physiological effects of anger, such as a pounding head or hot earlobes. Finally, he chose to not identify with the anger by acknowledging that the emotion would pass in time. He did not let his anger define him or direct his actions. Eventually, the angry voice in his head released its grip and he moved on with his day without abusing his colleagues. [7]

Key Insight 8

Happiness comes from within. It’s never a product of something in the material world. 

All too often people seek happiness in their environments. Such a quest is doomed to fail because no event or object in the world can inspire permanent happiness. Unfulfilled, people move from experience to experience, or purchase to purchase, in search of a form of permanent personal fulfillment that doesn’t exist. In psychology, this phenomenon is known as the hedonic treadmill. [8] Happiness spikes when something good happens, like a promotion or a vacation. But, over time, the novelty wears off and happiness dips once again. The opposite is also true; happiness drops when something bad happens, like a job loss. But it tends to return to the baseline over time. Eventually, all the ups and downs in life level off into routine. Until you adjust your expectations to accept these fluctuations as part of life, you will never be truly happy.

Hedonic adaptation, or humans’ inherent flexibility to weather life’s emotional vicissitudes, is largely a good thing that helps people build resiliency and rebound from difficult situations. [9] Hedonic adaptation might help a married couple recover from one partner’s infidelity, for example. But hedonic adaptation can also cause real disappointment and distress. For instance, another couple might have difficulty adjusting to the realities of married life after the luster of the new relationship wears off. If they accept the evolution of the relationship as an inevitable psychological phenomenon instead of viewing it as a personal problem, the couple will find it easier to weather the transition.

Author’s Style

Joe Dispenza’s style switches from conversational and chummy to more formal language with scientific trappings. He uses examples from his personal life, as well as people who have taken his workshops over the years. Some of the examples he presents sound implausible and miraculous, particularly with regard to medical conditions and money. Dispenza is a motivational speaker, and he often addresses his readers directly, challenging them to open their minds and accept new ideas. The genre the book most readily fits into is self-help.

In Dispenza’s more formal mode, when he discusses what he calls quantum physics, he includes diagrams and charts. The first two parts of the book are dedicated to unpacking his more technical concepts, while the final third is devoted to cultivating a meditative practice. He describes Parts I and II as a theoretical preface to the more practical applications explored in the third part. The meditation guide is broken down into seven steps that were designed to be practiced gradually, over four or more weeks.

The three parts of the book are sandwiched between an introduction and an afterword. A short series of appendices provide specific prompts for three meditations or introductions to meditations. Bibliographic notes and references to other sources are provided in the Endnotes section.

Author’s Perspective

Joe Dispenza’s ideas include a selection of popular topics from the self-help genre, including Buddhism, mindfulness meditation, and many tenets from New Thought. The cornerstone of his philosophy is the Law of Attraction—the New Thought principle that anyone can manifest wealth in real life just by thinking about it. He does not refer to the Law of Attraction by name, nor does he reference New Thought.

The discipline that Dispenza claims is quantum physics. His discussion includes some basic concepts from that field, mixed with pseudo-science. He does not at any point distinguish between ideas that were established through scientific consensus and his idiosyncratic understanding of energy and wavelengths. He sprinkles in occasional references to vetted science relating to areas of study like habits and neuroscience. Dispenza is neither a scientist nor a medical doctor; his training is as a chiropractor.

Dispenza’s ideology is fundamentally one of self-reliance, based on the idea that people have full control over their economic circumstances, mental health, and personality traits.

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself can be considered a sequel to Evolve Your Brain , Dispenza’s 2008 book. The sequel can be read alone, but it is technically a companion text. The new book is based on a series of in-person workshops developed and administered by Dispenza.

References

Canfield, Jack with Janet Switzer. The Success Principles . New York: William Morrow, Ch. 11.

Steenbarger, Brett. “Tapping The Power Of Mental Rehearsal.” Forbes . February 17, 2018. Accessed August 2, 2019. https://www.forbes.com/sites/brettsteenbarger/2018/02/17/tapping-the-power-of-mental-rehearsal/#2160335066f0

Chopra, Deepak and Rudolph Tanzi. Super Genes . New York: Harmony, 2017.

Warraich, Haider. “Is Pain a Sensation or an Emotion?” The New York Times . March 16, 2019. Accessed August 2, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/opinion/sunday/pain-opioids.html

Novotney, Amy. “The psychology of scarcity.” American Psychological Association . February 2014. Accessed August 2, 2019. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/02/scarcity

Doidge, Norman. The Brain That Changes Itself . New York: Viking, 2007, Ch. 1.

Harris, Dan. 10% Happier . New York: It Books, 2014, Ch. 6.

Fraga, Juli. “What to Do When You’re Bored with Your Routines.” The New York Times . March 29, 2019. Accessed August 3, 2019. https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/29/smarter-living/what-to-do-when-youre-bored-with-your-routines.html

Ibid.