Permanence by Lisa Broderick Become the Person You Want to Be – and Stay That Way

What's it about?

Permanence (2026) reveals a simple daily system that turns good intentions into steady, lasting personal change. You’ll discover how a handful of short questions, answered honestly each day, can sharpen your focus, strengthen your follow-through, and keep your growth on track even when motivation dips. This is a practical guide for those who like structure, and small habits that compound into big results.

If you’ve come to this lesson, there’s a good chance you’ve tried your hand at some self-help techniques in the past. Perhaps it was to be better at your job, to be a better parent or partner, or maybe just to take better care of yourself. And yet, even when these techniques are easy to understand, we keep struggling and looking for more solutions. Why is that?
Well, there’s a big difference between understanding what needs to be done and doing it. In this lesson, we’re going to narrow that gap. We’re going to look at a way to help nudge you in the direction of being more proactive and committed to making lasting change. If you’re interested in personal goals, better relationships, or finding more meaning and happiness in life, we’ll show how small daily actions – and consistently checking in with yourself through simple prompts and questions – can bring about significant growth and clarity. So let’s get started.
Let’s begin by debunking a very common misconception: that successful personal change comes down to some elusive combination of motivation, willpower, resources, and talent. When we think this way, it’s easy to get stuck in a rut – to think that you’re just not cut out to achieve the goals you’re after. But the truth is, it’s not a matter of willpower. It’s a matter of setting yourself up for success by laying the proper foundation.
A lot of this comes down to knowing what human beings respond to best, which is engaging in small, repeatable daily actions. In this context, that means creating a steady habit of checking in with yourself, so that you can recognize when you’ve put in an honest day’s effort and when you’re falling short – and why. The core tool for this kind of self-awareness and growth is Daily Questions, a short set of questions focused on whether you tried your best in key areas like goals, happiness, relationships, meaning, and engagement. The wording matters. The focus should always be on behavior, effort and ownership. For example, rather than asking, “Did I remain focused the entire day?
” A good daily question could be, “Did I do my best to remain focused today? ” Other good questions are, “Did I make progress on my most important goal? ” or “Did I show up for the people who matter to me? ” There have been group studies on the effectiveness of using the Daily Questions method, and the results have always been promising. One year-long study involving senior leaders used the co-author Marshall Goldsmith’s recommended questions, which include, “Did I do my best to set clear goals? ” “Did I do my best to make progress toward goal achievement?
” and “Did I do my best to be fully engaged? ” But the participants were also invited to create and answer their own questions, like “Did I do my best to avoid angry or destructive comments about other people today? ” Others added personal ones about exercise and kindness to family. The results showed that participation stayed high. The structure was intentionally judgment-free. Participants rated themselves, and the only outside pressure was a brief daily check-in call.
Over time, many reported meaningful shifts: clearer purpose, less resentment, and reduced need to control others. Perhaps most important was a pattern that showed up halfway through the year. People started adjusting their behavior in real time because they knew they would soon answer their questions. Awareness moved from hindsight to in-the-moment choice, and improvement lasted as long as the practice continued. Those who stopped often slid backward. This shows that real personal change comes from consistent, structured engagement with whatever behavior you’re trying to change.
While the Daily Questions method may sound new, the approach has a long legacy. Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius used daily reflection to stay aligned with their values and focused on what they could control: their actions and responses. Benjamin Franklin even went so far as to design a personal scorecard and reviewed it every day, treating the virtue of his character as something you can actively train. It’s a technique that has carried into modern times and can be seen in the ideas of modern writers.
The popular author Peter Drucker summed it up nicely when he said, “What gets measured gets managed. ” Measurement turns fuzzy goals into visible behaviors. If you want to improve as a listener, you pay attention to eye contact, how often you ask follow-up questions, and how rarely you interrupt. The numbers give you usable signals. Good results lead to increased motivation, while shortfalls provide direction. With a simple tracking system, a brief daily review, and questions tied to what matters most, you create a personal dashboard for change – practical, flexible, and built to last.
Speaking of motivation – a key part of this approach is self-awareness, and this includes asking yourself some probing questions about what it is you really value. This is called intrinsic motivation: What really matters to you? When your goals are clearly tied to your personal values, it produces deeper energy and stronger resilience. Persistence will feel more natural and setbacks will become easier to work through. Okay. So let’s recap quickly.
Building your own self-measurement system starts with clarity. Decide which parts of your life deserve focused attention right now — maybe your health, your relationships, your productivity, or your emotional balance. Write them down. Then create a simple way to track your effort, whether that’s a notebook, a spreadsheet, or a habit-tracking app. Keep it clean and manageable so it fits easily into your day. Add a short set of daily questions that ask whether you gave your best effort in those areas.
Set aside a consistent time of the day or night to answer them. Two focused minutes is plenty when you show up every day. After a week or two, review your entries and look for patterns. Where are you consistently strong?
Where do you keep missing the mark? Treat the data as useful feedback and adjust your approach as needed. You might refine a goal, tweak a strategy, or reset your expectations. Sharing the practice with an accountability partner can strengthen your commitment even more.
At this point, you should have a pretty good idea of how the Daily Questions method can act as a practical engine for personal change. But let’s look at a few tips that can help you make the most of it. For example, it bears repeating that wording is important. The most helpful questions begin with something like, “Did I do my best to [blank]?
” That phrasing keeps your attention on your effort and your choices throughout the day. You’re tracking how you showed up, how clearly you aimed your energy, and how intentionally you acted. Ultimately, your questions should be focused on what matters most to you right now – health habits, patience, forgiveness, delegation, emotional control, or anything else you want to strengthen. When your questions reflect your real values, they carry more weight and create a steady pull toward better choices. Think of it as a daily reset button, bringing your focus back to purpose, connection, and contribution. So create a simple grid, list your questions, and score your answers each evening.
Use simple numbers. Then review your week and look for patterns. Many people add an accountability partner who checks in daily and records the answers. Even highly accomplished coaches use this kind of support themselves. Structure keeps the habit alive on busy, messy, very human days. The emphasis on effort shapes the emotional tone of the practice.
You’re building a habit of showing up with intention. Some days will feel smooth, others scattered. That’s okay. The daily score still counts. Over time, that steady self-check builds resilience, honesty, and follow-through. People who stick with the process often report improvements in relationships, health routines, mood, and focus – driven by small, daily, compounding adjustments.
On the other hand, there are also some obstacles to be aware of. First comes distraction – the constant stream of pings, tabs, messages, emails, and mental side trips that scatter attention and crowd out reflection. This is why it’s important to keep your daily check-ins concise and protected. But it can also help to have a trusted friend check in with you at a scheduled time. Outside accountability can be a powerful thing, but even setting up some reminder notifications on your phone can help to keep your routine sustainable. The second potential pitfall is planner bias.
We all carry this hopeful version of ourselves who can follow through on grand plans, whereas the real version of ourselves is often tired and incapable of carrying them out. The best advice is don’t aim big. It’s all about routine and structure. Following through on a fixed, small daily ritual shouldn’t require negotiation.
Finally, there’s the all-too common habit of postponing happiness – tying your sense of fulfillment to future milestones. Daily Questions bring happiness into the here and now. You review whether you gave energy to joy, connection, and meaning during the day you just lived. That shift puts your emotional steering wheel back in your hands, one honest answer at a time.
When considering all the things that can stand in the way of personal growth, we need to mention one of the biggest psychological traps we can fall into: comparison culture. Everywhere you look, there are scoreboards – social feeds, workplace rankings, peer milestones, public praise. It’s easy to start grading your life using someone else’s report card. This is another advantage to creating your own Daily Question system.
It puts the measuring stick back in your hand, to track what genuinely matters to you. Personal metrics create a clearer path forward because they reflect your values, your priorities, and your chosen direction. Constant comparison carries a real emotional cost. When people spend their days surrounded by highlight reels and polished success stories, their own solid achievements can start to feel small. Even meaningful milestones – degrees earned, roles won, progress made – lose their shine when placed next to someone else’s next big leap. In high-pressure, high-performance cultures around the world, this pattern shows up alongside rising anxiety, loneliness, burnout, and even suicide.
The human mind keeps moving the target farther away. Daily Questions offer a steady anchor in that swirl. A short, private check-in pulls your attention back to your own actions and your own standards. You review whether you gave honest effort to your goals, your values, your growth. That daily scoring process builds awareness of forward motion that might otherwise go unnoticed. Momentum becomes visible.
Personal wins register. Your sense of progress comes from lived behavior, not outside applause. Don’t underestimate the power of routine – of stepping back each day you ask whether you gave your best effort and answering with honesty. That repetition strengthens resilience and keeps motivation tied to things you can influence directly – your choices, your focus, your follow-through. The habit gradually loosens the grip of outside comparison because all that really matters is your values and your system. But that’s not to say that this system can’t be applied in broader leadership formats.
Healthy cultures grow when contribution gets more attention than celebrity. Teams thrive when everyday effort, collaboration, and steady improvement receive recognition. Managers and mentors can use Daily Questions to encourage and highlight impact, service, and progress. It’s a way of meeting people with curiosity and respect rather than quick judgment. By spotlighting consistent contributors, you’ll create a workplace that dials down megastar worship inside organizations and instead builds a more durable kind of motivation within a group. Everyone will function better when they feel seen for real, steady work, not just headline moments.
In this last section, let’s look at a few long-term tools that help personal change stay alive and active. One thing that shouldn’t be overlooked is support. You don’t have to go it alone. And, in fact, you probably shouldn’t.
Growth works better when other people are involved and aligned in purpose. Accountability partners, mentors, and coaches provide steady encouragement, honest input, and the occasional nudge when your energy dips. Keep in mind: a lot of coaches also have their own coaches. They help keep commitments visible and standards high. Whether it’s in or outside of the workplace, constructive input from others should follow a few ground rules. Leave old mistakes where they belong, speak honestly, and aim to be helpful.
A good feedback model to keep in mind is called Feedforward. Instead of reviewing what already happened, you invite suggestions about what you can try next. You briefly share a goal, ask for ideas, and respond with a simple, “Thank you. ” No debating, no judging the suggestion, no long explanations. Just appreciation. This keeps the conversations open and productive.
It builds humility, strengthens relationships, and turns advice into usable fuel for your next step. Many people convert those suggestions directly into new Daily Questions, which keeps the improvement loop tight and personal. Another planning tool here is the Wheel of Change, a simple map for shaping your future self. It guides you through four areas: Creating, Preserving, Eliminating, and Accepting. Creating identifies new skills, habits, and relationships you want to add. Preserving highlights strengths and values worth protecting.
Eliminating targets behaviors and patterns that drag you down. Accepting centers on the parts of life you choose to make peace with – the things you stop fighting so your energy can go somewhere more useful. Moving through this wheel gives you a balanced, realistic growth plan that includes building, keeping, releasing, and reconciling. It’s also a way to look at the labels you carry – responsible one, smart one, funny one, fixer – and decide which still serve your future and which could loosen their grip.
Small shifts in identity and self-definition can open surprising room for new behavior. These are all tools that can help reinforce the steady and empowering habit of Daily Questions. They’re all ways of guiding your effort, adding supportive people to reinforce your commitment, creating forward-looking conversations that spark new ideas, and identifying the changes that will keep your growth on track.
The main takeaway of this lesson to Permanence by Lisa Broderick and Marshall Goldsmith is that lasting personal change grows from small, repeatable daily behaviors supported by honest self-reflection and simple measurement. The central practice is answering a short set of Daily Questions that focus on whether you gave your best effort in areas that matter to you – goals, relationships, meaning, engagement, and well-being. This daily scoring habit builds awareness and ownership, helps you notice gaps between intention and action, and encourages real-time course correction. Sustained growth becomes far more reliable when you add structure and support.
Accountability partners, coaches, and mentors help keep commitments active and prevent backsliding. Together, these tools form a steady system – a practical path for becoming the person you want to be and continuing to live that way over time.